








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 6 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
346 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 343 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 51 | 15% |
| Smokes | 12 | 3% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 59% |
Our logs show you have wasted $32,499 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 16 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlimJim | 36% | 11 |
| #2 | Marty | 23% | 35 |
| #3 | Indian Street Food | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 20% | 20 |
| #5 | Phukstick | 13% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Marty | 23% | 35 |
| #3 | Indian Street Food | 20% | 5 |
| #4 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 20% | 20 |
| #5 | Phukstick | 13% | 23 |
| #6 | dhore | 6% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Marty | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 2 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | dhore | 2 | 0.0057 |
| #4 | SlimJim | 1 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | Indian Street Food | 1 | 0.0102 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dhore | 58 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #2 | Phukstick | 47 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | Marty | 40 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | 31 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | SlimJim | 11 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SlimJim | +2.72 | 70 | 18 |
| #2 | Indian Street Food | +1.74 | 56 | 15 |
| #3 | Marty | +1.67 | 52 | 43 |
| #4 | Soup>ဟင်းချို | +0.38 | 52 | 29 |
| #5 | D4W_xK3RMZx | -2.07 | 26 | 17 |





