








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 768 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 438 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,990 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5063 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4875 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4179 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3873 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,121,564 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noah Hands | 50% | 204 |
| #2 | Booner | 50% | 241 |
| #3 | Deimos | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | LordFuzzyNuts | 44% | 97 |
| #5 | farshad momeni | 44% | 200 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Deimos | 46% | 91 |
| #4 | LordFuzzyNuts | 44% | 97 |
| #5 | farshad momeni | 44% | 200 |
| #6 | MiniHowell | 39% | 36 |
| #7 | xXCosmicCloudsXx | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booner | 22 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | farshad momeni | 12 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Noah Hands | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | LordFuzzyNuts | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | MiniHowell | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booner | 1095 | 0.22 | 28 min |
| #2 | farshad momeni | 461 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #3 | Noah Hands | 218 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #4 | MiniHowell | 111 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #5 | LordFuzzyNuts | 96 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booner | +4.26 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Deimos | +0.87 | 59 | 45 |
| #3 | Noah Hands | +0.45 | 62 | 46 |
| #4 | Mary Ann | -0.64 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | farshad momeni | -0.73 | 71 | 37 |





