








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 312 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1784 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,654 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1071 | 40% |
| Smokes | 1206 | 45% |
| HE Grenades | 203 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 174 | 7% |
Our logs show you have wasted $553,677 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1344 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Deimos | 54% | 39 |
| #2 | MiniHowell | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Mary Ann | 44% | 200 |
| #4 | Booner | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | Noah Hands | 43% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | MiniHowell | 53% | 15 |
| #3 | Mary Ann | 44% | 200 |
| #4 | Booner | 43% | 67 |
| #5 | Noah Hands | 43% | 37 |
| #6 | LordFuzzyNuts | 38% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mary Ann | 14 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Booner | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | MiniHowell | 2 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | Deimos | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | LordFuzzyNuts | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mary Ann | 695 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Booner | 333 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Noah Hands | 55 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #4 | MiniHowell | 55 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | Deimos | 50 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Booner | +4.22 | 86 | 65 |
| #2 | Deimos | +1.05 | 54 | 43 |
| #3 | Noah Hands | -0.25 | 60 | 52 |
| #4 | Mary Ann | -0.27 | 64 | 50 |
| #5 | farshad momeni | -0.73 | 71 | 37 |





