








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 446 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4041 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6958 | 34% |
| Smokes | 4560 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4373 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 4518 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $611,819 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loserkid. fAt pride | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Alice | 49% | 107 |
| #3 | Mistéc | 48% | 104 |
| #4 | LascO | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loserkid. fAt pride | 64% | 36 |
| #2 | Alice | 49% | 107 |
| #3 | Mistéc | 48% | 104 |
| #4 | LascO | 47% | 102 |
| #5 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 44% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Alice | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | Mistéc | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | loserkid. fAt pride | 2 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | LascO | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mistéc | 644 | 0.28 | 18 min |
| #2 | Alice | 198 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | LascO | 156 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | loserkid. fAt pride | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 34 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mistéc | +0.58 | 63 | 75 |
| #2 | ✪R3lo[A]Đ✪ | +0.49 | 59 | 60 |
| #3 | Alice | +0.17 | 63 | 64 |
| #4 | loserkid. fAt pride | -0.25 | 78 | 58 |
| #5 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | -0.69 | 45 | 55 |





