








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1475 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1267 matches | ||
| Faceit | 180 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Renown | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
16306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 41,391 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8977 | 22% |
| Smokes | 11555 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 15732 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 5127 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,955,163 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1015 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loserkid. fAt pride | 57% | 252 |
| #2 | 𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆 | 55% | 227 |
| #3 | Mistéc | 54% | 822 |
| #4 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 53% | 526 |
| #5 | LascO | 52% | 646 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Jerzyk | 51% | 115 |
| #8 | TACTICAL POLICE | 51% | 153 |
| #9 | ✪R3lo[A]Đ✪ | 49% | 107 |
| #10 | z1llahh | 46% | 110 |
| #11 | Soap | 44% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mistéc | 23 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 12 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | LascO | 8 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | TACTICAL POLICE | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | loserkid. fAt pride | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mistéc | +1.29 | 63 | 75 |
| #2 | loserkid. fAt pride | +1.03 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Jerzyk | +0.93 | 69 | 67 |
| #4 | ✪R3lo[A]Đ✪ | +0.50 | 61 | 61 |
| #5 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | +0.24 | 34 | 56 |





