








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1549 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 808 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Renown | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 141 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10132 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 50,299 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17909 | 36% |
| Smokes | 13760 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8564 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 10066 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,799,950 of utility $118 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | loserkid. fAt pride | 58% | 204 |
| #2 | 𝖕𝖆𝖓𝖉𝖆 | 57% | 152 |
| #3 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 56% | 382 |
| #4 | LascO | 56% | 510 |
| #5 | Alice | 54% | 822 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Alice | 21 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | Anzani | VΛCUUMΛIRS | 9 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | loserkid. fAt pride | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | LascO | 6 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | TACTICAL POLICE | 6 | 0.0030 |





