










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 734 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 400 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4791 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3866 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2398 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3570 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3230 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,205,800 of utility $216 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1255 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c'mon brahhh | 50% | 127 |
| #2 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 47% | 286 |
| #3 | DowniesCantSwim | 46% | 320 |
| #4 | 267 | 45% | 148 |
| #5 | nerve | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c'mon brahhh | 50% | 127 |
| #2 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 47% | 286 |
| #3 | DowniesCantSwim | 46% | 320 |
| #4 | 267 | 45% | 148 |
| #5 | nerve | 40% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesCantSwim | 111 | 0.0165 |
| #2 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 60 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | 267 | 38 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #5 | nerve | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesCantSwim | 888 | 0.13 | 23 min |
| #2 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 866 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | 267 | 441 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 309 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | nerve | 37 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thigga | +0.85 | 61 | 63 |
| #2 | c'mon brahhh | +0.21 | 55 | 52 |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | -0.48 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | DowniesCantSwim | -1.32 | 65 | 60 |
| #5 | nerve | -1.53 | 46 | 73 |





