








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 197 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




68 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2429 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,459 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2753 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2308 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2096 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 302 | 4% |
Our logs show you have wasted $534,839 of utility $85 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1585 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c'mon brahhh | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | DowniesCantSwim | 49% | 165 |
| #3 | thigga | 45% | 148 |
| #4 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c'mon brahhh | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | DowniesCantSwim | 49% | 165 |
| #3 | thigga | 45% | 148 |
| #4 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesCantSwim | 56 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 27 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | thigga | 24 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesCantSwim | 483 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #2 | thigga | 321 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 319 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 129 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thigga | +0.95 | 56 | 63 |
| #2 | c'mon brahhh | +0.85 | 56 | 58 |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | -0.26 | 59 | 56 |
| #4 | DowniesCantSwim | -0.79 | 64 | 59 |
| #5 | 267 | -0.81 | 56 | 46 |





