








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 575 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 357 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3594 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3979 | 38% |
| Smokes | 2279 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2894 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1452 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,585,904 of utility $180 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thigga | 47% | 286 |
| #2 | DowniesCantSwim | 47% | 231 |
| #3 | c'mon brahhh | 46% | 99 |
| #4 | nerve | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | 267 | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thigga | 47% | 286 |
| #2 | DowniesCantSwim | 47% | 231 |
| #3 | c'mon brahhh | 46% | 99 |
| #4 | nerve | 43% | 23 |
| #5 | 267 | 43% | 110 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesCantSwim | 78 | 0.0158 |
| #2 | thigga | 39 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | 267 | 35 | 0.0152 |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 19 | 0.0091 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesCantSwim | 651 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #2 | thigga | 583 | 0.10 | 14 min |
| #3 | 267 | 361 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 244 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | nerve | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thigga | +0.74 | 61 | 65 |
| #2 | c'mon brahhh | +0.48 | 54 | 51 |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | -0.30 | 59 | 57 |
| #4 | DowniesCantSwim | -0.67 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | 267 | -1.07 | 53 | 45 |





