








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1206 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 540 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




150 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5026 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,000 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5663 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3459 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4877 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3001 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,801,200 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 358 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c'mon brahhh | 51% | 102 |
| #2 | 267 | 49% | 165 |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 47% | 231 |
| #4 | thigga | 46% | 320 |
| #5 | nerve | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | c'mon brahhh | 51% | 102 |
| #2 | 267 | 49% | 165 |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 47% | 231 |
| #4 | thigga | 46% | 320 |
| #5 | nerve | 45% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 47 | 0.0095 |
| #2 | 267 | 46 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | thigga | 45 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 13 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | nerve | 10 | 0.0067 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | 720 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | thigga | 629 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | 267 | 501 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #4 | c'mon brahhh | 257 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #5 | nerve | 117 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | thigga | +1.05 | 60 | 64 |
| #2 | c'mon brahhh | +0.47 | 58 | 55 |
| #3 | DowniesJustEatShitAndDie | -0.09 | 58 | 57 |
| #4 | DowniesCantSwim | -0.82 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | nerve | -0.96 | 50 | 73 |





