








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1511 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 560 matches | ||
| Wingman | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 139 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8022 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,783 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3530 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6284 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 8433 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 7536 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,737,683 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 795 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dante0 [Kaiju] | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | nuжipon | 11 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | V3noM | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | VP|logiX Deathmen | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | sG.| JanCore ツ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dante0 [Kaiju] | 991 | 0.12 | 29 min |
| #2 | V3noM | 447 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #3 | sG.| JanCore ツ | 298 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #4 | Rock | 176 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | VP|logiX Deathmen | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |





