








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 543 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 445 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 48 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3578 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,119 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1379 | 9% |
| Smokes | 7878 | 49% |
| HE Grenades | 2268 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 4594 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,477 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 160 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Hiroschijoshi | 48% | 326 |
| #5 | sG.| JanCore ツ | 48% | 123 |
| #6 | Dante0 [Kaiju] | 47% | 479 |
| #7 | D4rkAngeL_318 | 47% | 43 |
| #8 | V3noM | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hiroschijoshi | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Dante0 [Kaiju] | 12 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | V3noM | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | VP|logiX Deathmen | 4 | 0.0030 |
| #5 | sG.| JanCore ツ | 3 | 0.0011 |





