








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1611 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 641 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 54 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 131 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9833 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,462 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10836 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8509 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 10648 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7469 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,041,088 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3300 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❟❛❟ Jairette | 76% | 90 |
| #2 | blake | 71% | 110 |
| #3 | (EMPY) | 71% | 79 |
| #4 | Tex | 71% | 452 |
| #5 | Split | 66% | 394 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Split | 66% | 394 |
| #6 | byJUSTIICE | 66% | 50 |
| #7 | Jav1tON | 59% | 63 |
| #8 | r0lly_tv | 58% | 48 |
| #9 | Boina Negra | 55% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Split | 22 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Tex | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Boina Negra | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | r0lly_tv | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ Jairette | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex | 1434 | 0.16 | 33 min |
| #2 | Split | 800 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #3 | Boina Negra | 406 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #4 | blake | 394 | 0.18 | 11 min |
| #5 | ❟❛❟ Jairette | 244 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex | +3.14 | 78 | 70 |
| #2 | Demi | +2.19 | 88 | 80 |
| #3 | ❟❛❟ Jairette | +1.91 | 84 | 59 |
| #4 | (EMPY) | +1.19 | 88 | 47 |
| #5 | Jav1tON | +1.00 | 92 | 58 |





