








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 930 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 557 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 89 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,318 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6524 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7020 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 7068 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 6706 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,327,508 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 712 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex | 73% | 67 |
| #2 | Split | 67% | 75 |
| #3 | Demi | 55% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex | 73% | 67 |
| #2 | Split | 67% | 75 |
| #3 | Demi | 55% | 164 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demi | 38 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Split | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Tex | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Demi | 687 | 0.21 | 20 min |
| #2 | Tex | 270 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | Split | 136 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tex | +6.14 | 84 | 67 |
| #2 | Demi | +3.43 | 90 | 80 |
| #3 | Split | +1.15 | 76 | 62 |
| #4 | Boina Negra | -0.92 | 72 | 69 |





