








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 824 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,822 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6619 | 33% |
| Smokes | 7193 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 3094 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2916 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $881,494 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 117 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | coin jr. | 62% | 115 |
| #2 | SWIM | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | coin | 49% | 119 |
| #4 | r0chs | 47% | 86 |
| #5 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 44% | 172 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 74 | 0.0205 |
| #2 | coin jr. | 17 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | coin | 15 | 0.0061 |
| #4 | r0chs | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | a_name | 7 | 0.0049 |





