








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 338 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 107 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,723 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1039 | 22% |
| Smokes | 929 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1477 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1278 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,593,281 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1854 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | coin | 46% | 39 |
| #5 | ✦𝖘 𝖍 𝖎 𝖔 𝖗 𝖎 | 44% | 71 |
| #6 | Horouddo | 42% | 24 |
| #7 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 33% | 126 |
| #8 | Cynical Andrew | 31% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KFC's $5 Fill Up, Only $5.49! | 76 | 0.0297 |
| #2 | coin | 9 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | ✦𝖘 𝖍 𝖎 𝖔 𝖗 𝖎 | 7 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Cynical Andrew | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Noki | 4 | 0.0067 |





