








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
918 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,106 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 823 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1148 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1521 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1614 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $299,981 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jordan Belfort | 78% | 9 |
| #2 | fcc410 | 75% | 12 |
| #3 | Lightning | 56% | 16 |
| #4 | Juantanamo Bay | 54% | 28 |
| #5 | large coke with no isis | 49% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shade | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | large coke with no isis | 6 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Vektorised | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Mr.America | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | fcc410 | 1 | 0.0043 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large coke with no isis | 268 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Shade | 251 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Vektorised | 208 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #4 | Mr.America | 136 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Juantanamo Bay | 66 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | large coke with no isis | +3.64 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Jordan Belfort | +1.81 | 61 | 48 |
| #3 | Shade | +1.57 | 74 | 73 |
| #4 | Juantanamo Bay | +1.34 | 66 | 60 |
| #5 | Vektorised | +1.23 | 78 | 57 |





