








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Wingman | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




39 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5560 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3892 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5483 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4114 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5519 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,114,729 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | abom | 66% | 41 |
| #2 | LOST | 57% | 35 |
| #3 | Local Pain Center | 51% | 47 |
| #4 | howl | 49% | 70 |
| #5 | Femme Fatale | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Big_Daddy_Sam_69 | 42% | 65 |
| #10 | dteq [CL] | 41% | 87 |
| #11 | Mr. Satan | 41% | 32 |
| #12 | Bonhson Joris | 39% | 103 |
| #13 | [BiB] fy | 36% | 39 |





