








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 153 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2406 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,217 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3728 | 40% |
| Smokes | 2317 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1699 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1473 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,135,963 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Brooks | 41% | 68 |
| #6 | Süti | 40% | 48 |
| #7 | Alpha | 38% | 26 |
| #8 | [BiB] fy | 36% | 44 |
| #9 | Big_Daddy_Sam_69 | 30% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Süti | 11 | 0.0119 |
| #2 | Bonhson Joris | 4 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | [BiB] fy | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | Brooks | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Fluffy | 3 | 0.0034 |





