








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 475 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4324 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,765 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5507 | 28% |
| Smokes | 5965 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 3168 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 5125 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,950,300 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 739 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ❤️Princess Dødsengel❤ | 375 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | KHANDOG | 371 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ølting 𝟒❷𝟶 | 334 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #4 | R1VER | 259 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #5 | howl | 209 | 0.17 | 6 min |





