








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 352 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 500 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3571 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5893 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3279 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5410 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5996 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $584,850 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 844 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scritch | 52% | 52 |
| #2 | Twitch Yeavy | 48% | 299 |
| #3 | K3nfloww | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scritch | 52% | 52 |
| #2 | Twitch Yeavy | 48% | 299 |
| #3 | K3nfloww | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Yeavy | 21 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | K3nfloww | 4 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | Scritch | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Yeavy | 721 | 0.11 | 17 min |
| #2 | Scritch | 38 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #3 | K3nfloww | 21 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Twitch Yeavy | +1.83 | 37 | 59 |
| #2 | Scritch | +0.02 | 24 | 45 |
| #3 | Doctor Dust | -0.64 | 18 | 59 |
| #4 | K3nfloww | -2.12 | 17 | 51 |





