










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1298 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,008 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 590 | 29% |
| Smokes | 865 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 429 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 124 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $375,300 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 337 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thinking Space II | 71% | 24 |
| #2 | aphenslol | 63% | 19 |
| #3 | metroboomin | 43% | 23 |
| #4 | Zantares | 41% | 17 |
| #5 | Tuesday | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Avilarix | 18 | 0.0140 |
| #2 | Tuesday | 14 | 0.0338 |
| #3 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | Not | 8 | 0.0092 |
| #5 | Zantares | 7 | 0.0197 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 195 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | Not | 180 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #3 | Avilarix | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | aphenslol | 48 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Tuesday | 26 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Polterghast | +6.78 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | aphenslol | +3.12 | 71 | 31 |
| #3 | Not | +3.00 | 45 | 41 |
| #4 | metroboomin | +2.06 | 67 | 20 |
| #5 | netermind | +1.47 | 71 | 22 |





