








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
486 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,125 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 320 | 28% |
| Smokes | 311 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 122 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 372 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $361,510 of utility $215 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 203 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zantares | 41% | 29 |
| #2 | netermind | 41% | 22 |
| #3 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 38% | 42 |
| #4 | mino | 35% | 17 |
| #5 | TemOofGod | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zantares | 15 | 0.0272 |
| #2 | netermind | 9 | 0.0214 |
| #3 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 8 | 0.0097 |
| #4 | Not | 8 | 0.0129 |
| #5 | metroboomin | 6 | 0.0197 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n3ttsp3nd~ | 174 | 0.21 | 3 min |
| #2 | Not | 101 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #3 | netermind | 59 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Zantares | 38 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | TemOofGod | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TemOofGod | +4.11 | 44 | 72 |
| #2 | Not | +2.61 | 44 | 34 |
| #3 | netermind | +1.84 | 89 | 12 |
| #4 | n3ttsp3nd~ | +0.69 | 42 | 33 |
| #5 | Zantares | +0.23 | 57 | 43 |





