








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 101 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
921 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,481 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 572 | 23% |
| Smokes | 1010 | 41% |
| HE Grenades | 171 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 728 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $645,609 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 145 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Oliwvier | 44% | 41 |
| #7 | Rose '-' | 43% | 111 |
| #8 | Luke | 41% | 102 |
| #9 | JuanECL | 41% | 27 |
| #10 | alloy | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 67 | 0.0330 |
| #2 | Physio | 22 | 0.0328 |
| #3 | Rose '-' | 19 | 0.0081 |
| #4 | Gab | 12 | 0.0089 |
| #5 | alloy | 12 | 0.0271 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 244 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #2 | Rose '-' | 224 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #3 | Gab | 160 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Eric | 106 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | alloy | 70 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Physio | +8.08 | 90 | 39 |
| #2 | Gab | +1.92 | 59 | 57 |
| #3 | Rose '-' | +1.70 | 71 | 56 |
| #4 | Luke | +1.52 | 73 | 42 |
| #5 | JuanECL | +1.45 | 75 | 14 |





