








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 584 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 247 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 215 matches | ||
| Wingman | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




349 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7573 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,121 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3777 | 34% |
| Smokes | 3672 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 2483 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1189 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,808,517 of utility $203 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 673 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eric | 49% | 158 |
| #2 | Rose '-' | 49% | 234 |
| #3 | JuanECL | 48% | 42 |
| #4 | Gab | 46% | 207 |
| #5 | Physio | 43% | 167 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Physio | 43% | 167 |
| #6 | njcx | 41% | 102 |
| #7 | alloy | 41% | 202 |
| #8 | applepiefly | 39% | 82 |
| #9 | Oliwvier | 37% | 232 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Physio | 131 | 0.0404 |
| #2 | alloy | 96 | 0.0250 |
| #3 | Gab | 55 | 0.0131 |
| #4 | Rose '-' | 43 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | njcx | 42 | 0.0206 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | alloy | 606 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #2 | Gab | 568 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | Rose '-' | 428 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | applepiefly | 229 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #5 | Physio | 152 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Physio | +4.15 | 87 | 37 |
| #2 | applepiefly | +2.33 | 64 | 33 |
| #3 | Luke | +1.53 | 73 | 44 |
| #4 | Rose '-' | +1.22 | 74 | 52 |
| #5 | Eric | +0.52 | 36 | 36 |





