








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 438 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 196 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,390 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1358 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1939 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1401 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1692 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,278,884 of utility $283 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 204 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gab | 50% | 155 |
| #2 | Luke | 49% | 158 |
| #3 | Rose '-' | 49% | 257 |
| #4 | JuanECL | 48% | 77 |
| #5 | njcx | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 57 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | Rose '-' | 32 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | Gab | 27 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | Physio | 21 | 0.0515 |
| #5 | njcx | 20 | 0.0115 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rose '-' | 575 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #2 | Gab | 435 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #3 | Luke | 320 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | alloy | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | njcx | 71 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Physio | +3.75 | 82 | 37 |
| #2 | Luke | +2.13 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | JuanECL | +1.10 | 75 | 15 |
| #4 | Rose '-' | +1.02 | 68 | 58 |
| #5 | Gab | +0.96 | 55 | 53 |





