








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
495 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,621 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 382 | 24% |
| Smokes | 521 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 320 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 398 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $81,594 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutella.com | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | Serton♝ | 50% | 2 |
| #3 | Selix | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | JIMMY Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ on 360hz | 50% | 4 |
| #5 | FROGGY | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | Haze | 25% | 4 |
| #12 | ☯ Myōjin | 25% | 4 |
| #13 | TinG💔 | 25% | 4 |
| #14 | Vinnie᠌ P | 25% | 4 |
| #15 | Flóki | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaSlizer | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaSlizer | 129 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #2 | Reco | 115 | 0.28 | 3 min |
| #3 | FROGGY | 64 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #4 | Flóki | 19 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kúba | 16 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikzera | +2.04 | 81 | 72 |
| #2 | Woland | +2.01 | 79 | 59 |
| #3 | ☯ Myōjin | +0.84 | 86 | 67 |
| #4 | Reco | +0.67 | 89 | 71 |
| #5 | nutella.com | +0.48 | 72 | 73 |





