








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 32 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 5 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
91 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 347 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 126 | 36% |
| Smokes | 71 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 81 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 69 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $27,947 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 82 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaSlizer | 25% | 8 |
| #2 | FROGGY | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | Reco | 0% | 3 |
| #4 | Kúba | 0% | 3 |
| #5 | THEIcemaskin | 0% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | FROGGY | 0% | 2 |
| #3 | Reco | 0% | 3 |
| #4 | Kúba | 0% | 3 |
| #5 | THEIcemaskin | 0% | 3 |
| #6 | mikzera | 0% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaSlizer | 1 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BananaSlizer | 26 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Reco | 16 | 0.25 | 0 min |
| #3 | mikzera | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | THEIcemaskin | 6 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #5 | FROGGY | 5 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mikzera | +4.48 | 82 | 70 |
| #2 | Reco | +1.93 | 94 | 72 |
| #3 | Kúba | +0.50 | 84 | 15 |
| #4 | FROGGY | +0.44 | 50 | 47 |
| #5 | BananaSlizer | -2.10 | 52 | 66 |





