








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 196 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1321 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,212 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3074 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2469 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1740 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1929 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $476,237 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | WHY | 42% | 106 |
| #6 | SavLor | 40% | 116 |
| #7 | Islam Vegeta | 30% | 63 |
| #8 | Mr. Ping | 27% | 30 |
| #9 | cronkodile | 20% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavlor | 12 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | SavLor | 10 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | Samuron | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #4 | WHY | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Islam Vegeta | 2 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavlor | 266 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | SavLor | 187 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #3 | WHY | 184 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #4 | Samuron | 134 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Islam Vegeta | 78 | 0.06 | 2 min |





