








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 9 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
767 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,416 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 618 | 44% |
| Smokes | 545 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 110 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 143 | 10% |
Our logs show you have wasted $87,638 of utility $34 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | СавЛор | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | WHY | 47% | 78 |
| #3 | Mavlor | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Samuron | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | SavLor | 37% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | WHY | 47% | 78 |
| #3 | Mavlor | 45% | 42 |
| #4 | Samuron | 42% | 19 |
| #5 | SavLor | 37% | 51 |
| #6 | FREAKEY SEX | 30% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mavlor | 8 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | FREAKEY SEX | 6 | 0.0047 |
| #3 | SavLor | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | WHY | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Samuron | 2 | 0.0050 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FREAKEY SEX | 256 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #2 | Mavlor | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | WHY | 142 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | SavLor | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Samuron | 72 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WHY | +2.91 | 85 | 54 |
| #2 | СавЛор | +2.42 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | Samuron | +2.35 | 47 | 68 |
| #4 | Mavlor | +1.88 | 35 | 68 |
| #5 | SavLor | +1.24 | 82 | 60 |





