








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 244 matches | ||
| Premier | 129 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4134 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,616 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4820 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2028 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 4356 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2412 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $885,492 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1029 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smartass | 57% | 130 |
| #2 | Makazze GOAT | 56% | 221 |
| #3 | .Osku | 55% | 338 |
| #4 | jauho | 52% | 75 |
| #5 | Eoj | 49% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Osku | 117 | 0.0179 |
| #2 | skifter10 | 31 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | smartass | 23 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | Eoj | 20 | 0.0069 |
| #5 | jauho | 16 | 0.0109 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .Osku | 856 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #2 | Makazze GOAT | 316 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| #3 | skifter10 | 273 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #4 | smartass | 145 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Eoj | 141 | 0.05 | 3 min |





