








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Esplay | 2 matches | 1,319 | |
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
879 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 956 | 37% |
| Smokes | 754 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 412 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 453 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $577,040 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | liam | 52% | 56 |
| #7 | KnataN. | 49% | 87 |
| #8 | PB | 49% | 37 |
| #9 | Shampus | 47% | 17 |
| #10 | Evr!ast | 20% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gazly -.- | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #2 | Ronny Boy | 6 | 0.0092 |
| #3 | liam | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #4 | KnataN. | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | knatish #teamjocke | 2 | 2.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | liam | 172 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | KnataN. | 116 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | PB | 104 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | Gazly -.- | 87 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ronny Boy | 73 | 0.11 | 1 min |





