








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 608 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1999 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,506 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 862 | 19% |
| Smokes | 918 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1455 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1271 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,516 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 432 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kaljakeisari | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | Cobb | 59% | 39 |
| #3 | NASU | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Ponkala | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Dinja | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Ponkala | 53% | 17 |
| #5 | Dinja | 45% | 11 |
| #6 | zrfnd | 45% | 42 |
| #7 | Nani | 40% | 15 |
| #8 | Creepy | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Ponkala | 9 | 0.0272 |
| #2 | Cobb | 2 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | zrfnd | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Dinja | 1 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zrfnd | 213 | 0.25 | 5 min |
| #2 | Nani | 68 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | Cobb | 46 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #4 | Creepy | 35 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Kaljakeisari | 31 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NASU | +4.45 | 66 | 58 |
| #2 | Krokotiilinnahkabootsit | +3.82 | 86 | 49 |
| #3 | zrfnd | +0.66 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂 Ponkala | -0.35 | 82 | 21 |
| #5 | Nani | -0.55 | 52 | 69 |





