








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 125 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 39 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
781 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,855 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 541 | 19% |
| Smokes | 722 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 699 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 893 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,188 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PEPSI MAX | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | S4ndeR ♿ | 59% | 27 |
| #3 | Baba HiddeN | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | FIREFOX | 53% | 78 |
| #5 | R3FLEX | 52% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | R3FLEX | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | JueLLL | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | The_Undulator | 1 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | PEPSI MAX | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FIREFOX | 202 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | JueLLL | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | R3FLEX | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Baba HiddeN | 96 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | downatello | 70 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S4ndeR ♿ | +3.66 | 89 | 72 |
| #2 | FIREFOX | +1.44 | 72 | 67 |
| #3 | Baba HiddeN | +1.26 | 67 | 72 |
| #4 | R3FLEX | +1.16 | 64 | 66 |
| #5 | Esse | +1.11 | 74 | 74 |





