








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 314 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




40 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4004 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,021 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2941 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2561 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1917 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2602 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $946,606 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 60 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bot Hjarnø | 65% | 31 |
| #2 | FIREFOX | 64% | 137 |
| #3 | Baba HiddeN | 60% | 83 |
| #4 | Enok Energinguaq | 60% | 42 |
| #5 | P1TZO#RTG | 59% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | P1TZO#RTG | 59% | 27 |
| #6 | R3FLEX | 56% | 118 |
| #7 | downatello | 56% | 120 |
| #8 | JueLLL | 55% | 239 |
| #9 | Esse | 52% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JueLLL | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | downatello | 14 | 0.0058 |
| #3 | R3FLEX | 6 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | Bot Hjarnø | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | Enok Energinguaq | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JueLLL | 601 | 0.12 | 15 min |
| #2 | FIREFOX | 329 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #3 | R3FLEX | 284 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | downatello | 248 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #5 | Baba HiddeN | 154 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S4ndeR ♿ | +2.77 | 91 | 66 |
| #2 | Baba HiddeN | +1.80 | 66 | 76 |
| #3 | FIREFOX | +1.45 | 73 | 65 |
| #4 | Esse | +1.30 | 77 | 72 |
| #5 | R3FLEX | -0.01 | 60 | 65 |





