








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,312 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1716 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2195 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2756 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1645 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,137,328 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 114 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yolle:) | 49% | 88 |
| #2 | Creepy | 48% | 118 |
| #3 | FLACKO NASTY | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | M1ster | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | hjk | 44% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | FLACKO NASTY | 45% | 95 |
| #4 | M1ster | 45% | 20 |
| #5 | hjk | 44% | 54 |
| #6 | IAMKUMA | 44% | 25 |
| #7 | Sloop | 41% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creepy | 18 | 0.0074 |
| #2 | FLACKO NASTY | 14 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | hjk | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | IAMKUMA | 7 | 0.0142 |
| #5 | Yolle:) | 5 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLACKO NASTY | 205 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #2 | Creepy | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | Yolle:) | 105 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | M1ster | 89 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| #5 | hjk | 46 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creepy | +2.27 | 82 | 42 |
| #2 | Chara (GR) | +1.44 | 84 | 50 |
| #3 | FLACKO NASTY | +1.11 | 77 | 67 |
| #4 | M1ster | +0.94 | 77 | 73 |
| #5 | Yolle:) | -0.17 | 74 | 48 |





