










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 106 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1674 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,754 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1118 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2037 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1282 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1317 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,251 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bop bandit | 48% | 63 |
| #2 | Creepy | 47% | 141 |
| #3 | FLACKO NASTY | 47% | 105 |
| #4 | Chara (GR) | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Yolle:) | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bop bandit | 48% | 63 |
| #2 | Creepy | 47% | 141 |
| #3 | FLACKO NASTY | 47% | 105 |
| #4 | Chara (GR) | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Yolle:) | 42% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creepy | 19 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | FLACKO NASTY | 12 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | bop bandit | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Yolle:) | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Chara (GR) | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLACKO NASTY | 258 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #2 | Creepy | 140 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #3 | bop bandit | 80 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | Yolle:) | 73 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Chara (GR) | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Creepy | +2.47 | 85 | 48 |
| #2 | IAMKUMA | +0.03 | 78 | 59 |
| #3 | Chara (GR) | -0.23 | 83 | 46 |
| #4 | FLACKO NASTY | -0.51 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | Yolle:) | -0.72 | 77 | 48 |





