








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 7 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 127 matches | ||
| Wingman | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2556 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 375 | 10% |
| Smokes | 937 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1236 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1382 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,005,677 of utility $224 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count3rx | 61% | 62 |
| #2 | KC (DK) | 59% | 17 |
| #3 | Naija <3 | 50% | 141 |
| #4 | Gissel The G | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | Boye | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Naija <3 | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Count3rx | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Gissel The G | 1 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count3rx | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | Naija <3 | 44 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #3 | Gissel The G | 28 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #4 | Boye | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | KC (DK) | 9 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count3rx | +5.18 | 94 | 70 |
| #2 | Gissel The G | +3.31 | 74 | 60 |
| #3 | Ubbegavet | +2.35 | 86 | 39 |
| #4 | KC (DK) | -1.24 | 59 | 65 |
| #5 | Boye | -2.90 | 53 | 13 |





