








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 157 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 60 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,738 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 802 | 10% |
| Smokes | 1812 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2897 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2227 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $742,930 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubbegavet | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Gissel The G | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | KC (DK) | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Count3rx | 46% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ubbegavet | 50% | 141 |
| #2 | Gissel The G | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | KC (DK) | 48% | 27 |
| #4 | Count3rx | 46% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count3rx | 9 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Ubbegavet | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Gissel The G | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count3rx | 319 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #2 | Gissel The G | 78 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Ubbegavet | 37 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| #4 | KC (DK) | 22 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Count3rx | +6.16 | 94 | 71 |
| #2 | Gissel The G | +4.34 | 80 | 66 |
| #3 | Ubbegavet | +2.79 | 87 | 40 |
| #4 | KC (DK) | -2.20 | 55 | 64 |
| #5 | Naija <3 | -4.66 | 32 | 44 |





