








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,526 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 680 | 27% |
| Smokes | 565 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 582 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 699 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $335,553 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | its_sebastiaanツ | 100% | 6 |
| #2 | Any NAFFERS? | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | Tjin | 67% | 9 |
| #4 | BiEm | 60% | 5 |
| #5 | Bitner | 56% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mem | 109 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #2 | &IEM | 57 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | BalGehakt | 52 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Je Moeder | 44 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | Hook | 41 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Any NAFFERS? | +6.09 | 50 | 67 |
| #2 | muhfuckinuuuuuuuhhh | +2.58 | 73 | 67 |
| #3 | its_sebastiaanツ | +2.42 | 88 | 36 |
| #4 | Mem | +2.28 | 67 | 47 |
| #5 | Hook | +1.04 | 58 | 62 |





