








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 729 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4405 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,655 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5502 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7066 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5101 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4986 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,556,261 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitner | 55% | 47 |
| #2 | Mem | 54% | 63 |
| #3 | MemKing | 53% | 386 |
| #4 | Tjin | 51% | 39 |
| #5 | Mique10 | 51% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Mique10 | 51% | 134 |
| #6 | Mique17 | 50% | 113 |
| #7 | sp4rx | 48% | 176 |
| #8 | Hook | 48% | 80 |
| #9 | Coole kikker | 40% | 151 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MemKing | 42 | 0.0053 |
| #2 | sp4rx | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Mique10 | 11 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | Mique17 | 7 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Hook | 7 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MemKing | 1006 | 0.13 | 31 min |
| #2 | Mique10 | 419 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | sp4rx | 345 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| #4 | Mique17 | 294 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Hook | 183 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mique17 | +1.74 | 71 | 65 |
| #2 | MemKing | +1.54 | 68 | 55 |
| #3 | Mique10 | +1.29 | 69 | 61 |
| #4 | sp4rx | +0.36 | 72 | 62 |
| #5 | Mem | +0.03 | 58 | 50 |





