








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 108 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
676 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,567 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 693 | 44% |
| Smokes | 307 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 298 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 269 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $241,873 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mem | 63% | 41 |
| #2 | muhfuckinuuuuuuuhhh | 46% | 24 |
| #3 | Bitner | 40% | 92 |
| #4 | Hook | 39% | 67 |
| #5 | Je Moeder | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bitner | 40% | 92 |
| #4 | Hook | 39% | 67 |
| #5 | Je Moeder | 38% | 8 |
| #6 | sp4rx | 35% | 52 |
| #7 | MemKing | 32% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bitner | 18 | 0.0101 |
| #2 | MemKing | 14 | 0.0134 |
| #3 | Hook | 10 | 0.0079 |
| #4 | sp4rx | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #5 | Mem | 8 | 0.0097 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hook | 160 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #2 | MemKing | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | sp4rx | 107 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Mem | 74 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bitner | 59 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mem | +3.30 | 66 | 54 |
| #2 | muhfuckinuuuuuuuhhh | +2.60 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | sp4rx | +1.61 | 67 | 60 |
| #4 | MemKing | +1.46 | 67 | 46 |
| #5 | Hook | +0.28 | 56 | 54 |





