








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 657 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 233 matches | ||
| Premier | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4540 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,234 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3504 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4585 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2277 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2868 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,870,323 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 540 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | 43% | 47 |
| #2 | Fred | 41% | 86 |
| #3 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | 39% | 28 |
| #4 | Gwazi | 38% | 42 |
| #5 | sellout | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Gwazi | 38% | 42 |
| #5 | sellout | 38% | 40 |
| #6 | insom` | 37% | 43 |
| #7 | exioN cre0 | 35% | 52 |
| #8 | Paladin | 34% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | 8 | 0.0131 |
| #3 | Fred | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | exioN cre0 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | insom` | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | exioN cre0 | 239 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | Fred | 173 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #3 | mOCHA | 165 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | Paladin | 132 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | insom` | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | +1.48 | 82 | 56 |
| #2 | Gwazi | +0.99 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | +0.87 | 68 | 54 |
| #4 | Paladin | +0.59 | 66 | 70 |
| #5 | GabeMi | +0.52 | 63 | 56 |





