








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 350 matches | ||
| Faceit | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




91 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5181 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,231 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1889 | 14% |
| Smokes | 3071 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 3987 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4284 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,445,338 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 383 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | 47% | 312 |
| #2 | Its_Salty[ST] | 46% | 72 |
| #3 | mOCHA | 44% | 161 |
| #4 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | 42% | 93 |
| #5 | GabeMi | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | 47% | 312 |
| #2 | Its_Salty[ST] | 46% | 72 |
| #3 | mOCHA | 44% | 161 |
| #4 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | 42% | 93 |
| #5 | GabeMi | 38% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | 33 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | 23 | 0.0120 |
| #3 | Fred | 15 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Its_Salty[ST] | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | GabeMi | 3 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fred | 580 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #2 | mOCHA | 443 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | Its_Salty[ST] | 179 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #4 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | 156 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | GabeMi | 130 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mOCHA | +1.39 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | MEOWMASTER 69<3 | +0.85 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | GabeMi | +0.46 | 63 | 60 |
| #4 | sellout | -0.09 | 72 | 47 |
| #5 | Fred | -0.66 | 56 | 48 |





