










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1396 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 403 matches | ||
| Faceit | 161 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8845 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 10756 | 33% |
| Smokes | 8359 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3441 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 9560 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,856,050 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 441 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 51% | 444 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 47% | 810 |
| #3 | heavenly | 47% | 737 |
| #4 | Lord Scotty | 46% | 186 |
| #5 | Stones (The Farmer) | 46% | 751 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | beefybaconator | 47% | 810 |
| #3 | heavenly | 47% | 737 |
| #4 | Lord Scotty | 46% | 186 |
| #5 | Stones (The Farmer) | 46% | 751 |
| #6 | SQF_Scorch | 45% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | heavenly | 21 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 14 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | snoop | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Stones (The Farmer) | 11 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 10 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beefybaconator | 3547 | 0.21 | 94 min |
| #2 | heavenly | 2282 | 0.15 | 60 min |
| #3 | Stones (The Farmer) | 1428 | 0.09 | 38 min |
| #4 | snoop | 1291 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 1028 | 0.25 | 24 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +4.48 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | +0.18 | 74 | 71 |
| #3 | SQF_Scorch | +0.05 | 59 | 66 |
| #4 | SOLO | -0.11 | 61 | 63 |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | -0.16 | 68 | 61 |





