








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 39 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
928 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,172 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2558 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1506 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 741 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 1367 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,080 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 49% | 80 |
| #2 | Lord Scotty | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | heavenly | 46% | 71 |
| #4 | SOLO | 45% | 91 |
| #5 | LexityJ | 45% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | heavenly | 46% | 71 |
| #4 | SOLO | 45% | 91 |
| #5 | LexityJ | 45% | 20 |
| #6 | beefybaconator | 45% | 110 |
| #7 | Stones (The Farmer) | 43% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | LexityJ | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | heavenly | 1 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 1 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beefybaconator | 564 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #2 | SOLO | 288 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | snoop | 271 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | heavenly | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 155 | 0.33 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +3.77 | 86 | 64 |
| #2 | SQF_Scorch | +0.25 | 58 | 66 |
| #3 | Lord Scotty | -0.49 | 61 | 55 |
| #4 | beefybaconator | -0.58 | 70 | 72 |
| #5 | LexityJ | -0.72 | 67 | 72 |





