








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 826 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 140 matches | ||
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5830 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,548 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5858 | 23% |
| Smokes | 7009 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6275 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 6406 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,787,958 of utility $196 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | 49% | 435 |
| #2 | heavenly | 47% | 659 |
| #3 | beefybaconator | 46% | 751 |
| #4 | SOLO | 46% | 751 |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 45% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | heavenly | 47% | 659 |
| #3 | beefybaconator | 46% | 751 |
| #4 | SOLO | 46% | 751 |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 45% | 208 |
| #6 | EastR | 35% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Scotty | 20 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | snoop | 19 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | heavenly | 17 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | SOLO | 16 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | beefybaconator | 14 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beefybaconator | 3243 | 0.20 | 86 min |
| #2 | SOLO | 2538 | 0.16 | 68 min |
| #3 | heavenly | 2062 | 0.15 | 55 min |
| #4 | snoop | 1272 | 0.14 | 28 min |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 1045 | 0.24 | 26 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +4.88 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | Lord Scotty | +0.37 | 68 | 62 |
| #3 | beefybaconator | +0.11 | 74 | 71 |
| #4 | SOLO | +0.00 | 62 | 63 |
| #5 | heavenly | -1.55 | 71 | 58 |





