








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1105 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 227 matches | ||
| Faceit | 171 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9217 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,137 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7714 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6294 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5975 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 6154 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,432,267 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1140 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Velos | 53% | 47 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | 52% | 498 |
| #3 | Lord Scotty | 52% | 150 |
| #4 | SOLO | 51% | 444 |
| #5 | heavenly | 50% | 369 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | SOLO | 51% | 444 |
| #5 | heavenly | 50% | 369 |
| #6 | SQF_Scorch | 49% | 80 |
| #7 | Stones (The Farmer) | 49% | 435 |
| #8 | EastR | 35% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lord Scotty | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | SOLO | 10 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | Stones (The Farmer) | 10 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | beefybaconator | 9 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | heavenly | 7 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beefybaconator | 2574 | 0.24 | 68 min |
| #2 | SOLO | 1740 | 0.18 | 47 min |
| #3 | heavenly | 1325 | 0.16 | 37 min |
| #4 | Stones (The Farmer) | 922 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #5 | Lord Scotty | 834 | 0.26 | 20 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snoop | +4.54 | 89 | 64 |
| #2 | beefybaconator | -0.54 | 71 | 70 |
| #3 | Lord Scotty | -0.68 | 65 | 62 |
| #4 | SOLO | -0.75 | 59 | 66 |
| #5 | SQF_Scorch | -0.94 | 54 | 68 |





