








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 244 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1405 | 29% |
| Smokes | 920 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 1508 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1061 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $759,309 of utility $200 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yonker | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | jackve | 48% | 132 |
| #3 | Kintaro | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | dommybear | 37% | 81 |
| #5 | Day4125 | 36% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | jackve | 48% | 132 |
| #3 | Kintaro | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | dommybear | 37% | 81 |
| #5 | Day4125 | 36% | 81 |
| #6 | Shrub killa ^-^ | 36% | 76 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shrub killa ^-^ | 36 | 0.0243 |
| #2 | Day4125 | 21 | 0.0129 |
| #3 | dommybear | 19 | 0.0117 |
| #4 | jackve | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | Kintaro | 1 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackve | 347 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Shrub killa ^-^ | 300 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | dommybear | 148 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #4 | Day4125 | 104 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Yonker | 19 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackve | +3.99 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | eris | +3.37 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | Shrub killa ^-^ | -1.36 | 26 | 51 |
| #4 | Kintaro | -1.53 | 41 | 35 |
| #5 | Yonker | -1.72 | 60 | 38 |





