








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 221 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




159 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5551 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,817 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5829 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4934 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4592 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3462 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,451,307 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 776 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackve | 46% | 237 |
| #2 | Day4125 | 44% | 415 |
| #3 | Yonker | 42% | 64 |
| #4 | Kintaro | 42% | 195 |
| #5 | dommybear | 39% | 327 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dommybear | 72 | 0.0109 |
| #2 | Day4125 | 65 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | Kintaro | 19 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | eris | 13 | 0.0087 |
| #5 | jackve | 12 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Day4125 | 623 | 0.07 | 12 min |
| #2 | jackve | 586 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #3 | dommybear | 428 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #4 | eris | 231 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | Kintaro | 216 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jackve | +5.73 | 81 | 66 |
| #2 | eris | +3.63 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | Kintaro | +0.70 | 52 | 44 |
| #4 | Shrub killa ^-^ | +0.26 | 44 | 56 |
| #5 | Yonker | -0.65 | 56 | 39 |





